did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
