i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just found puke in my bra..
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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