I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Randomize
