he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
