it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
