yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
