Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize