Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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