Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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