So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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