he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
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