I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
