Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize