I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Last time i carry you out of a forest
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize