this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
