I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
