I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
