Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
