spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
