You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize