This is not my ceiling
That reminds me...we need to get swords
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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