There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
