I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
