On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
