does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
this hospital has no fireball
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
