Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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