sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
You smell like stripper and shame
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Too much gin, very little bucket
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
