Midget sex pt 2 tonight
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
