he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Found the puke drawer
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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