Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
