If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
