I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
