we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Randomize
