Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
