I think my vagina is haunted
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
