you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
