so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
