Its about making memories worth repressing
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
