Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
