Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize