Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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