My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
