Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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