another moral hangover. fuck.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
