"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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