you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
