those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
