I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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