it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
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