remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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