Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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