You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
