I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
