Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
