all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
