What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
You were trust falling into bushes
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
