so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
