Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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