we're blogging at a bar
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
