Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
